Week three picks!

Quickly, before I get to the football picks for week three, Floyd Landis has been suspended from cycling for two years and has been stripped of his Tour de France title. Really? we didn't go over this already? I thought this was old news. Moving on to Dan's completely unreliable picks...

Colts (-6) over TEXANS

The Texans have beat two teams that are flawed. The Colts beat an under-whelming Saints team and barely got past the surprising Titans last week. The huge difference maker for Sunday is the fact that Texans on-the-cusp-of-superstardom wide receiver Andre Johnson is out. Without him, the Texans can't possibly beat the Colts. I don't think so at least.

Chargers (-5) over PACKERS

Do you think the Chargers are going to stay down after the beating the Patriots lay on them? They'd never let it happen. Favre's Packers are innocent victims in this one. If it goes the other way, it may be time to re-evaluate this San Diego team, namely it's coaching.

Vikings (+3) over CHIEFS

I like this Vikings team. They're not very appealing, but I have this feeling about them. The fact that the dreadful Chiefs are giving points only helps my pro-Vikes feeling.

Lions (+6) over EAGLES

I am firmly on the Kevin Kolb bandwagon and would love to see McNabb run out town, if only to see what his reaction is and who he blames instead of taking his failure like a man.

PATRIOTS (-16.5) over Bills

This game will go one of two ways. A) The Patriots will look great, go up by 14, then throw it into cruise control because the Bills haven't really poked the sleeping the giant. B) The Patriots will tear J.P. Losman to shreds and he will start crying on the sidelines. Does Buffalo even have a backup QB? Why does nobody ever clamour for him? Can he be that much worse than J.P.?

JETS (-3) over Dolphins

Kellen Clemens could possibly save the Jets even though he's been thrown directly into the fire. Trent Green cannot save the Dolphins because it's a) Trent Green and b) the Dolphins. Also, Zach Thomas may have a concussion and may have to sit this one out.

STEELERS (-9) over 49ers

The Niners are one of those teams that are bad but somehow jump out to 2-0 by flukes. Nobody calls them "the worst 2-0 team" because there's always another over-achiever (like the Texans) who are slightly worse. The Steelers shouldn't have much trouble here. The only thing I'm really hoping for is a Vernon Davis touchdown, wasn't he supposed to be the next great tight-end?

RAVENS (-8) over Cardinals

The Ravens are the team that I'll look at every week and like, no matter what. It may be Willis McGahee, it may be their defense, it may be Brian Billick, hell, it may be the purple in their uniforms. Who knows?

BUCS (-3.5) over Rams

Pundits say that you shouldn't be discouraged over Stephen Jackson's slow start. That would mean something a few weeks from now if the Rams are still faltering, but here, not so much. Also, Marc Bulger is a little banged up. He will more than likely play, but that's something that should be kept in mind.

BRONCOS (-3.5) over Jaguars

The Broncos have pulled their first two games off with late field goals; both were highlight reel worthy, albeit for different reasons. I see this trend change this week with a last-second, highlight reel touchdown instead of field goal. Why not?

SEAHAWKS (-3.5) over Bengals

If the Browns offense can drop 51 points on the Bengals, what hope do they honestly have of containing the Shaun Alexander and the Seahawks in Seattle. The Seahawks can easily go 7-1 or 8-0 at home juts based on their ludicris fan support.

RAIDERS (-3) over Browns

Remember how Derek Anderson looked like an all-world superstar last week? I doubt that will happen again, especially against a team that actually knows how to play defense.

Panthers (-3.5) over FALCONS

Can I bet that Joey Harrington will be booed off the field? What's the over/under on games before Byron Leftwich starts? DeAngelo Hall is the type of guy who would be either dumb enough or arrogant enough to talk trash to Steve Smith before the game, don't you think? Have you seen David Carr wearing his nancy boy white gloves on the sidelines? This game could actually be entertaining, but for the reasons I listed, nothing too football related.

REDSKINS (-3.5) over Giants

The Redskins looked good against the faltering Eagles on Monday night. The Giants are just about on par with that Eagles squad which isn't a good sign for them. The 'skins should roll and we'll all be force-fed some more "Look how good Jason Campbell's doing" articles next week.

BEARS (-3) versus Cowboys

This game is pretty much the decider of who's the best team in the NFC right now. Nobody else has really stood out enough to be part of the argument yet.

SAINTS (-4.5) over Titans

Can the Saints really lose their home opener? They always seem to do better at home and this is nearly a must-win game for them.

On the season: 14-13-3